The summer months can be uniquely challenging for some of our clients. Unresolved issues that create discomfort and the need to disconnect from their bodies, along with self-imposed judgment and the judgment they experience from others, make it painful for them to consider wearing shorts, T-shirts, or a bathing suit. I have clients who have repeatedly passed up opportunities to spend time with friends and family at the beach, travel, or partake in any outdoor adventure because of paralyzing self-consciousness and negative self-talk. Along with other issues that you are addressing in therapy, encourage you to explore with your clients their struggles with physical appearance or their concerns about feeling less safe if they are in a bathing suit or summer clothing.
Clients with histories of physical and sexual abuse or neglect are often chronically disconnected from their bodies. Experiencing physical sensations or bringing awareness to specific places on their bodies can be overwhelming when the feelings are reminiscent of past events that were inappropriate, invasive, painful, or arousing. It makes sense that clients believe it is safer and less triggering to disavow and dissociate from their bodies to increase a sense of numbness and decrease the possibility of becoming too activated in their own skin. For similar reasons, clients also want to “hide” their bodies underneath layers of heavy, unflattering clothing. Some clients become anxious about exposing too much skin, which adds to a sense of vulnerability. Other clients express concerns about wearing less clothing or a bathing suit because it will make them look too “sexualized.” Many clients still carry shame about the size and shape of their bodies, which become more accentuated in the outfits typically worn in the summertime.
❝Clients need our support in reclaiming a positive sense of body image.❞
Sadly, feelings of shame and the coping strategy of disconnection result in other significant negative consequences. Clients are often left in an inevitable state of disempowerment and the inability to use the body’s natural “radar” to assess their surroundings and the safety of interpersonal interactions accurately. It also means that clients lose soothing non-sexual touch for comfort and connection, as well as the experience of sexual pleasure, both of which are vital to well-being, good mental health, and intimate relationships. Moreover, when clients lead from inner criticism, they punitively deprive themselves of the summertime experiences that can bring relaxation, rejuvenation, connection to others, new adventures, and a new growing edge. What should be such a playful and enjoyable time of year evokes triggering and dread.
Clients need our support in reclaiming a positive sense of body image, reducing the inner criticism and judgment they put on themselves when their bodies are “less than perfect,” or navigating the hyper-vigilance and lack of safety they experience when their bodies are more exposed. By working with physical sensations in therapy, we can help clients embrace and reconnect with themselves. This is a big step towards increasing their comfort level rather than putting continued energy into disavowing body ownership and fueling a sense of shame.
Here are some simple ways to reconnect with and work with the body:
Use body sensation and breath for re-grounding: Invite clients to notice their feet in their shoes, fingertips pressed together, both hands on heart, or the difference between breathing in and breathing out, to help them reconnect with the body.
Explore how the body manifests feeling safe or unsafe: This reinforces the body as a “compass,” enhances boundary setting, activates healthy self-protective responses when needed, and reduces the unhealthy risk-taking that can lead to subsequent re-victimization.
Connect physical sensation and posture to emotions: Help clients identify how their bodies manifest anxiety, anger, insecurity, shame, or sadness so emotions can be identified and soothed. Asking ‘If the sensation could talk, what would it say?’ is a way to verbalize these experiences.
Help clients “listen to” and honor their body’s cues: When clients can acknowledge the ways in which their bodies communicate fundamental needs, they can begin to make decisions that nurture, soothe, and protect. It also enhances mindful eating so clients can accurately register hunger and satiety.